Style Blabber: Body Image & The Democratization of Fashion

Hello loves! It's been a little over a week since I last posted on the blog, and I gotta say I apologize, but you know how it is towards the end of the year... 

Last week, I received a comment/message on my Tumblr, that I was surprised to read, specially by the ignorant nature behind it. The message (written by an anon) was pointing out how according to this person dressing fashionably and sharing it with everyone else was not for "fat people". As soon as I read that I knew I had to write a post about body image, especially given that our own perceptions about ourselves and our body are an essential part of our personal style. 

Body Image and Fashion: 

Body image refers to a person's feelings of the aesthetics and  attractiveness of his or her own body.It is often questioned whether or not fashion encourages a positive body image/perception amongst people or if it only damages it. To be honest, standards of beauty are often set around the lines of tall, skinny and "pretty". Finding a way to get positive reinforcement and feeling good about the way we look becomes a Herculean task, since expectations of what beauty should or shouldn't be are seen, by many, as rules that build a straight jacket that everyone should fit into and live with. However,  we also need to remember that when it comes to fashion, diversity is the order of the day.
Fashion is the element that allows a group or someone to set him/herself apart from the rest, it is set to be a tool that allows the individual to be one. New movements of self acceptance and empowerment over a person's unique physical characteristics has made it possible for anyone to feel fashionable, regardless of how the look, and in fact, encourages everyone to feel "in fashion" and empowered by their looks, even if they don't fit a stereotype. 

Therefore, We can't say fashion is for a specific type of person because we would be saying that people who don't belong to a specific group can't have it. That means that even modesty (by being different) should also be included in the group of "what can't be fashionable". But no, Today's fashion is diverse and includes a lot of people and groups with different characteristics that are buying it, selling it and wearing

Great Fashion & Style is democratic, it is for everyone: 

In the last few years we've seen what I like to call, the "Democratization of fashion". The huge influx of Fast Fashion, with stores like Zara, H&M and Forever21 bringing to people of all ages, nationalities and economical status, the possibility to dress with the latest trends from the runway without having to wait months and at very affordable prices. People, of all kinds, now have the possibility to dress well and look good. 

The other point where we see that fashion is becoming a thing for more than just some, is the large amount and great exposure that the blogger community has gotten. It feels like it's a must to have a blog, and in particular, fashion blogs. I'd like to think of blogs as the tools that bring fashion closer to people and make it a more relatable thing.

Amongst the incredible blogs(fashion blogs) that are out there, I'd like to highlight those blogs that encourage the idea of having a positive body image, and the blogs that encourage people to embrace fashion within their life's believes and preferences. Plus size blogs are amazing, I personally love reading them, and even though I'm not a plus size person myself, I still enjoy reading them because it also relates to those of us who aren't stick thin either. These women's input on how to dress well regardless of the body type is invaluable. 

On the other hand, and my personal favourites, are modesty-related fashion blogs and b/vloggers. Which are probably the most useful and amaing tool for the modest woman who chooses to keep it cover more than anything else. The hijab tutorials and seeing in how many ways clothes can be worn in a modest way is an incredible way to empower those who choose to be different but want to stay fashionable, so cheers to them! 

Positive Body Image as a Style Mark:

Now, the whole "democratization" of fashion has made is easier to be accepting of everything about us, especially our bodies. With time, and because of the projects I work on, like this blog or even better, writing for CollegeFashionista.co.uk I've seen that what really makes a difference between someone with nice clothes and someone with an excellent sense of style, is the way they carry the clothes on their back. It really is all about attitude and confidence, it's about being accepting of their/our bodies and having a positive body image, that's what makes a difference. There is nothing more incredible than seeing someone who feels so good about his/herself and how they manage to look extraordinarily great. It really isn't about how tall, short, skinny, over weight, covered, uncovered, etc. you are, it is about how you choose to carry yourself, accept yourself, and love everything about you, that's what dictates who can be fashionable and stylish or not. 

So before anyone goes thinking that they must look a certain way to feel good and be "fashionable", just remember that fashion ain't no longer for models only, fashion is trademark available for everyone, especially us modesty lovers! 

Xo and style your life modest!

Love, 
Kiki Gil

Style Blabber: Alternative options to refresh the 'Maxi Look'

Maxi skirts and maxi dresses are probably a modest woman's signature pieces. But what happens when it suddenly becomes hard to find them, or if they simply get repetitive? It is a common thing to have recurring pieces and wardrobe essentials, and when it comes to modesty, it's fair to say that what I call the 'two Maxi's' (maxi dresses and maxi skirts) are modest wardrobe essentials but they are starting to become the be all and end all of modest style, or are they? 

Last Thursday, I went shopping specifically on the hunt for bottoms, mostly maxi skirts. I was shocked to be unable to find anything that I didn't already have. It was then, when I realized I was way too dependent on the 'two maxis', and so are most women, to be honest.
I started to think it was imperative and necessary to start exploring other options and diversify my wardrobe. I decided to narrow it down to 4 essential and pretty practical options to replace and refresh the ´maxi look´. Here they are I hope they are useful and lovable to you!

1. Probably one of the best options if not THE best option or replacement for maxi skirts are 'Palazzo' trousers, they are modest, comfortable and incredibly chic. They look good on every sort of body, whether you are slim or curvy, it really doesn't matter. Explore with stand-out colors, mix patterns textures and shapes. Try a peplum top with it and you'll love it!
2. The second option I considered, was one of the easiest: Wearing long, oversize sweaters for coverage. Taking advantage of the fact that is fall and that it is perfect sweater weather , why not give it a try and pair it with colorful pants and loose shirts? Perfect opportunity to stay warm and keep it covered.

3. The third option, and one that I think is quite fun, is one inspired by layering. Layering a miniskirt over pants is probably the most fun way to style an otherwise revealing look. On my recent shopping sprees I've come across a lot of mini skirts, and I must admit that was a little bit annoying, however, there is a way. Combining colors, color blocking and contrasting them for a fun look, is a way to wear two bottom pieces (minis and pants) as a smart alternative to the 'two maxis'.

4. Last but not least, an option that probably doesn't require extra shopping (because I'm sure we all own a good coat) is wearing coats as dresses! It's simple, elegant and extremely classic. Keep it interesting with patterns on the leggings or skinnies you wear underneath and you will see that dressing up has never been any easier.

That is all for this style blabber. I know I hadn't done one in a while, but hey, better late than never! If you wish to have more information or personalized advice, please email ifo@stylemodesta.com.

xo and style your life modest!

Love,

Kiki G.

Style Blabber: Are mainstream fashion publications a modest woman's nightmare or her best friends?

Fashion Magazines and publications, should we run away from them or learn how to love them?

I don't know about you, but when I decided to adopt a modest lifestyle, I first thought: "Ok that is it, there won't be many things in mainstream fashion that will fit or talk to my modest style". Fashion publications fell into that category as well. I used to flip through the pages of magazines, with a reluctant attitude. I felt like I was looking at things that weren't aimed at me at all...Or so I thought.

Most people flip through fashion magazines looking at the model or the piece of clothing she is wearing, I sure did that before. The reality of things is that when done in that way, someone like the average modest woman wouldn't really relate to the spreads, editorials or articles in any of the magazines, simply because they feel foreign and orientated to a different target.

Back in the day, when I used to think that, I was in business school and my interest in fashion was too shallow for me to understand how things worked. I am glad to say I have, since then, come a long way. I started to study fashion and made it one of my life's priorities. Starting to understand how EVERYTHING worked behind the scenes of everything fashion related, helped me see the depth and bottom of what I normally saw, especially what I saw in mainstream fashion publications. I learnt that fashion publications actually aim to show and develop a concept rather than just photographing a model with clothes.

I realized that there actually was a better way to look at a fashion publication and be able to appreciate, like, understand and even wear what was shown in them. The key is to look at what the publication is trying to show us, not at what we are seeing at first.

It sounds complicated, so allow me to elaborate on this. For example, lets assume we open a Vogue magazine and see an editorial with a model in a red dress. When we look at it, we normally SEE a dress, maybe a very tight, short dress. Now, when we look deeper, we see that what we are actually BEING SHOWN is probably a trend, a look or an over all concept, which for the propose of the example let's say it was "Red the color of the season". When we look at that (the concept not the dress) it becomes easier to relate to the editorial, because we can now take that into our wardrobe by looking for pieces with that trend or concept that are modest and appealing to us.

I took it upon myself to go through a couple of issues of the fashion publications I normally read, and see how relatable they were for everyone with a love for modesty. I will also share with you how I "look" at these publications and what I take from them:

One of the ways to look through these publications, is "scouting" modesty in them. It's about finding those pieces of clothing or those looks that are incredibly appropriate and that you love and would eventually wear.

Finding what I would wear and taking mental notes!

Another way is by spotting elements we like, or are interested in and trying to see if they can eventually be worn in a modest way and making mental notes of possible alternatives, this one seems to be the most versatile way to relate to these publications, there is always things we like but sometimes we say "Ugh, not modest enough". Well it is a matter of figuring out how to turn regular things into modest things.

Spot for accessories and beauty reports, they are aimed at EVERYONE, it is a good way to feel like these publications relate to you!

And there is yet another way, and for this I took a look at a Vogue summer issue (because we know summer fashion is not exactly modesty friendly) to illustrate how there is a way for this issues to be modesty friendly. Take the concept or idea and instead of thinking of pieces like shorts and swimsuits, think of dresses or maxis, and be inspired by it and then translate it into something you would actually wear. Even in cases where one would normally just flip the page (because it's an article about something like bathing suits) there is something to pay attention too and there is a way to do it. 

Translaitng concepts and making it work!

I love the idea of taking mainstream fashion and making it fit into my modest style, it is probably the best way not to feel dated and/or boring when it comes to what we wear and how we look. With the appropriated perspective, mainstream publications can be relatable and fun to look at for the average modes lady. 

Hope you enjoyed this post!

xo and style your life modest!

Love, 

Kiki G.

Ps: Yes the hand writing is mine and not a 4 year old's! x

Style Blabber: Who said you couldn't feel pretty while being modest?

I find it amazing that there tends to be a misconception about modesty and the need to feel good about ourselves. Being modest doesn't necessarily mean our personal appearance should be neglected.

While modesty is all about not attracting the opposite sex in the wrong way, it doesn't mean we, as modest women, are not entitled to make ourselves feel pretty. It can be possible that we get lost in a sea of ugly fabric, frumpy clothes, no make up and instantly start to forget that looking in the mirror should be about feeling good and loving what we see.

Modesty is liberating and it is also an excellent way to raise our self esteem, but only in one way that is possible: If we remember that we are ultimately dressing for ourselves and making ourselves happy and not others.

Don't forget you are a girl, A Girl, and that you are completely entitled to love everything any other girl loves. Love yourself, love your life, love your style. Be happy, feel pretty and feel good, here is how:

Dress nicely: It doesn't matter how many people agree or disagree with how you look, what matters is that you never stop making an effort in your appearance, especially in what you wear. Keeping it covered doesn't mean keeping it boring. Go shopping for nice clothes, buy what you like. Make sure that every piece of clothing you wear makes you feel comfortable, if it doesn't or it doesn't generate any type of security in you, DON'T WEAR IT! 

• Take care of your health: Sometimes, without even realizing, we start thinking that because as modest women who don't show skin, we have an excuse to gain an unhealthy amount of weight and be unhealthy, like if the only excuse to be healthy, is to be able to show our bodies. Well, let me tell you that it totally isn't the case. There shouldn't be any type of excuse when it comes to staying healthy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a big girl, however, there is everything wrong with being unhealthy. Go out for a walk, don't eat in excess (this one goes for me as well) and make sure that whatever weight you are on, you keep yourself healthy. 

• Nurture your skin and don't be scared of simple make up: You really don't need to look like you just woke up just because you try to look modest. Put on your concealer and foundation (if you need it), add a hint of mascara and off you go! Who noticed you had make up on? Probably no one, but who will feel good by wearing a tad of it? You surely will! Take care of your skin, be a girl, get facials, enjoy taking care of how your face looks. Don't worry, you are still keeping it simple without having to feel insecure about our beautiful imperfections.

• Wear colors: This one is a personal favorite of mine, it often get underestimated how important  and good wearing bright colors makes you feel. Wearing black and gray all the time can become depressing. Whenever we see a rainbow we smile, so why not add some of the rainbow joy to our lives by incorporating a bit of the color into our outfits and wardrobes? It sound really basic, but the difference that it makes in our mood whenever we look at ourselves in a mirror, is unbelievable! 

These are simple things we tend to forget in the sake of modesty, but today I'll tell you that your modesty won't get compromised for making yourself feel good about yourself. Don't be scared of feeling good, remember that modesty is about making you feel beautiful and comfortable.

xo and style your life modest! 

Love, 

Kiki G.

Style Blabber: Dressing age appropriate, the Do's and the Don'ts!

Happy me hitting the candy store at F.A.O Schwarz after
shopping.
(Very age appropriate lol)

About a week ago I was discussing with a sister the issue of "How to turn your wardrobe into a modest wardrobe". She was telling me about how she, being just a little over 18 years old, was struggling to make herself look youthful without having to compromise her modesty.

I remember a while ago when I was in the same situation. I decided to dress modestly and wear the hijab (or better said the scarf) but the problem was I started to buy clothes that ended up making me look like if I was 60!

You'd be surprised at how difficult it is for many girls bellow the age of 28 to look age appropriate in modest clothes. To be honest I think that is one of the biggest and most annoying pains hijabis (and modest girls in general) go through! Looking at pictures of myself from two years ago is borderline terrifying! I can't help but think: WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING? 

When did looking like a 60 years old milk lady became cool? Let me tell you when: NEVER. (and it never will) I struggled at first finding the way to look my age but I think I figured out some basic things to do and not to do when it comes to fixing this, and came up with a simple list of Do's and Don'ts and here it is:

DON'Ts

• Not every sister at the mosque needs to be your style icon: I don't mean it in a rude way, though. While an elder sister may be an incredible spiritual role model, you need to bear in mind that they are also older and lead a different life to yours. Lifestyles are different and so is the way they dress and you dress. Look up to their actions but not necessarily to what they are wearing, if you end up imitating it, you'll end up looking 20 years older and no one wants that.

• If your mom would wear it, then forget about ever buying it: Although the mom rule doesn't necessarily apply to everyone, most people wouldn't want to be caught dead in their mothers clothing. When you are about to wear something just ask yourself whether your mother would wear that or not; if the answer happens to be yes, then PLEASE don't buy that piece!!! 

• Stay away from cheap clothes being sold at flea markets: While I have bought many different things at flea markets in the past, if you know me and have noticed, I only buy accessories and decoration items, but clothes is a big no no. Normally, the clothes being sold here are way too dated, they are old and not the vintage kind of old but the "it's from 2006" kind of old. Buying these clothes will only make you look dated and about 10 years older. STAY AWAY FROM IT! 

DO's

• Shop where you would normally would go to with your friends: Surprisingly, the biggest stores that we all know and love like Zara, H&M and Forever21 (and the like) all have items that we can perfectly wear. Anything like maxi-skirts, maxi-dresses, jumpsuits, wide pants, coats and the likes  are available for us nowadays.

Buy the clothe that looks good on
you, not on others! 

• If you like it but it: Sometimes, we all really like a piece of clothing so much but we try it on and it happens to be too tight; don't be discouraged from buying it, there is always a way. the perfect alternative and solution to this issue is simple: BUY IT IN A LARGER SIZE! The amount of clothes I have that is in a different size to mine is ridiculous, sometimes I even buy it two sizes larger just so it is nice and baggy (just how I like it), and it works perfectly for me.

• Take a friend of your age shopping with you: An honest opinion from someone who cares about you and is your same age is the best thing to have when shopping. Your friend will be uncomfortable seeing you in something her mother or your mother would wear, so she will most likely tell you what you look good in and what you don't. 

• Look like your own self: If you have a defined personal style and had it even before you decided to turn your wardrobe into a modest wardrobe, then don't forget about that and stick to it! If for example you are the typical biker-girl, don't ditch the leather, just change the jeans for a maxi skirt, keep the boots and leather jacket, throw on a scarf and off you go!

These are the basic Do's and Don'ts I consider will be helpful to make sure you dress age appropriated. Life is long and living each stage of life is beautiful. Last thing you need is to have your best years stolen by a bad look and the pressure to look a certain way. 

xo and remember to style your modest life!

Fashion Blabber: Modesty and Personal Style

There is a misconception about what modest fashion is and  how the clothing categorized as modest are.  Normally we think of old-fashioned long skirts, boring turtlenecks, ugly sleeves and everything our grandmother would wear. In fact, often women who choose to dress modestly are thought of as boring women. Well that is no longer true! Dressing in a modest way goes beyond a boring garment; Modest Fashion is a way of life that determines our personal style. 

Coco Chanel

And why not allow the way we dress to determine our lifestyle, if the best and most iconic women in fashion history and the world have made ​​clear who they are by how they dressed and the clothes they used love. Great women like Mademoiselle Coco , who had a clear idea of  how the woman of the  20th century had to be seen as an empowered individual and an active contributor to society. She rebelled against the excessive discomfort in women's wear at the time and gave women the new 'working outfit', what a way to define personal style. Or even women of today like Sheikha Mozah bint Nasser, who has managed to position herself as a global icon of style and  an example of empowered women without neglecting her religious background by wearing outfits that cover her body and hair but always maintain the quality of chic and original. 

Sheikha Mozah

Whether the decision is to dress modestly for religious reasons or not, every woman has a personality that she seeks to convey in the way she dresses. Defining our personal style is an essential part in defining our life and ourselves. For every taste and activity there are different options, and modest fashion makes that point just as clear. There are extensive styling options depending on your needs, budget or occupation. The point is to not get lost in a sea of ​​boring clothes but try to find a way to project what's on our minds and hearts in the best possible way. 

I have a checklist of questions that I answer to myself in order to decide how I will choose my wardrobe. The questions and answers (personal answers) are as follows: 

1. What kind of personality do I have? I am sociable but not the most outgoing, but I love to laugh and share happy moments. 

2. What are my interests? I love fashion, art, photography and history. 

3. What kind of environment an I in? I study Fashion marketing and communication, it is a very chic and creative environment. 

4. What do I want to project about myself to others? Two things: Fun and modesty. 

Thus I decided that for my 'smiling', maximal, creativity and color fixated personality I need to create a wardrobe of bold prints, bright colors but with several touches of neutrals to not make it too heavy. Basically I decide to take each answer and try to translate it into trends and pieces of clothing to make me feel comfortable and happy.

Jumpsuit: Foreve21
Blazer: Stradivarius
Sunglasses: Ray Ban
Hijab: Designed and sown by me