Beauty in Fear: A Message to You, Me, Us

I think people are afraid of sharing their fears, I think people are afraid of hearing others share their fears. What would happen if we dared share what's deep inside us? Would people panic or would they stop and listen?

What would happen if I told you you are not the only one with those fears?

Allow me to have an honest moment with you, my dear readers:

I have a fear of not being able to keep track of what I believe in, my fear is to be too sensitive to people scrutinizing me, of letting someone else's opinions bring me to question my life choices, that is my fear. 

Modesty, out of all things, is something that those who are brave embrace, something that is difficult to find in a chaotic world that demands us to keep very little to ourselves, something that we need to fight for to be able to hold on to. It ain't easy living a modest lifestyle. 

I feel as if people ignore the big elephant in the room and rather deal with their feelings on their own and end up feeling left out and out of place. I'm  not saying it happens to everyone, but in my personal experience I've felt and I've seen other women who choose modesty feel left out from everything from time-to-time. From not finding what to wear, to other more deep rooted situations like not being able to feel comfortable while going out because everyone stares, or not being able to love yourself for who you are. What ever the deal is, us women who adopt modesty as a lifestyle may feel the need to step away from it just so we can 'fit in'; however, always remember that you are not alone, there are millions of women around the world that like you,me, us chose to be different. 

Remember you have fashion and style to make it all seem a lot more fun and dare I say, beautiful. It really isn't about  "Oh look what I am wearing and look how many things I've got" it really is about "I can make myself feel pretty with what I like and what I believe in", modesty and fashion go hand in hand to make you, me, us feel gorgeous and powerful. Whenever you feel like you can't walk with your head held high and feel like you will never 'fit in', remember that princesses were never meant 'fit in', they stand out. So stand out in style and like a true princess, wear a head piece! 

Love, 

Kiki Gil

Video: "Style Is Who You Are" & A Note About Indifference

                                         

People often ask me what my definition of style is. I believe the answer is that style is in everything I do, we do. This style blog is a big part of who I am as a person because, through here I get to transmit thoughts and ideas. In fact, I believe that images and a couple of words will help put the point across in a better way. Here is a little bit of graphic experimentation I began to explore to give you guys a better experience on the blog, other than just looking at pictures and reading everything I write. Wait for more!

Let me talk to you about something: 

 

I wanted to talk to you about a new online hijab store called Indifference, I must honestly say I LOVE their selection of Scarves! They have all styles, colors and prints. As they say on their website: "Indifference is a fashion line that covers Islamic-American clothing. We aim to offer appealing attire that is not only  modest, but stylish as well. " perfect for all of us right?  I often get asked about places to buy scarves and well, I definitely recommend this online store! 

Ok sweethearts if you want to check out their stuff here are the links you can visit. Come on, let's start supporting the entrepreneurial spirit of young women everywhere and look our best while we do it!

Links: 

Indifference on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Indifference/568638469832501?ref=nf

Indifference website: http://indifference.storenvy.com/

Style Blabber: Body Image & The Democratization of Fashion

Hello loves! It's been a little over a week since I last posted on the blog, and I gotta say I apologize, but you know how it is towards the end of the year... 

Last week, I received a comment/message on my Tumblr, that I was surprised to read, specially by the ignorant nature behind it. The message (written by an anon) was pointing out how according to this person dressing fashionably and sharing it with everyone else was not for "fat people". As soon as I read that I knew I had to write a post about body image, especially given that our own perceptions about ourselves and our body are an essential part of our personal style. 

Body Image and Fashion: 

Body image refers to a person's feelings of the aesthetics and  attractiveness of his or her own body.It is often questioned whether or not fashion encourages a positive body image/perception amongst people or if it only damages it. To be honest, standards of beauty are often set around the lines of tall, skinny and "pretty". Finding a way to get positive reinforcement and feeling good about the way we look becomes a Herculean task, since expectations of what beauty should or shouldn't be are seen, by many, as rules that build a straight jacket that everyone should fit into and live with. However,  we also need to remember that when it comes to fashion, diversity is the order of the day.
Fashion is the element that allows a group or someone to set him/herself apart from the rest, it is set to be a tool that allows the individual to be one. New movements of self acceptance and empowerment over a person's unique physical characteristics has made it possible for anyone to feel fashionable, regardless of how the look, and in fact, encourages everyone to feel "in fashion" and empowered by their looks, even if they don't fit a stereotype. 

Therefore, We can't say fashion is for a specific type of person because we would be saying that people who don't belong to a specific group can't have it. That means that even modesty (by being different) should also be included in the group of "what can't be fashionable". But no, Today's fashion is diverse and includes a lot of people and groups with different characteristics that are buying it, selling it and wearing

Great Fashion & Style is democratic, it is for everyone: 

In the last few years we've seen what I like to call, the "Democratization of fashion". The huge influx of Fast Fashion, with stores like Zara, H&M and Forever21 bringing to people of all ages, nationalities and economical status, the possibility to dress with the latest trends from the runway without having to wait months and at very affordable prices. People, of all kinds, now have the possibility to dress well and look good. 

The other point where we see that fashion is becoming a thing for more than just some, is the large amount and great exposure that the blogger community has gotten. It feels like it's a must to have a blog, and in particular, fashion blogs. I'd like to think of blogs as the tools that bring fashion closer to people and make it a more relatable thing.

Amongst the incredible blogs(fashion blogs) that are out there, I'd like to highlight those blogs that encourage the idea of having a positive body image, and the blogs that encourage people to embrace fashion within their life's believes and preferences. Plus size blogs are amazing, I personally love reading them, and even though I'm not a plus size person myself, I still enjoy reading them because it also relates to those of us who aren't stick thin either. These women's input on how to dress well regardless of the body type is invaluable. 

On the other hand, and my personal favourites, are modesty-related fashion blogs and b/vloggers. Which are probably the most useful and amaing tool for the modest woman who chooses to keep it cover more than anything else. The hijab tutorials and seeing in how many ways clothes can be worn in a modest way is an incredible way to empower those who choose to be different but want to stay fashionable, so cheers to them! 

Positive Body Image as a Style Mark:

Now, the whole "democratization" of fashion has made is easier to be accepting of everything about us, especially our bodies. With time, and because of the projects I work on, like this blog or even better, writing for CollegeFashionista.co.uk I've seen that what really makes a difference between someone with nice clothes and someone with an excellent sense of style, is the way they carry the clothes on their back. It really is all about attitude and confidence, it's about being accepting of their/our bodies and having a positive body image, that's what makes a difference. There is nothing more incredible than seeing someone who feels so good about his/herself and how they manage to look extraordinarily great. It really isn't about how tall, short, skinny, over weight, covered, uncovered, etc. you are, it is about how you choose to carry yourself, accept yourself, and love everything about you, that's what dictates who can be fashionable and stylish or not. 

So before anyone goes thinking that they must look a certain way to feel good and be "fashionable", just remember that fashion ain't no longer for models only, fashion is trademark available for everyone, especially us modesty lovers! 

Xo and style your life modest!

Love, 
Kiki Gil

Style Blabber: Alternative options to refresh the 'Maxi Look'

Maxi skirts and maxi dresses are probably a modest woman's signature pieces. But what happens when it suddenly becomes hard to find them, or if they simply get repetitive? It is a common thing to have recurring pieces and wardrobe essentials, and when it comes to modesty, it's fair to say that what I call the 'two Maxi's' (maxi dresses and maxi skirts) are modest wardrobe essentials but they are starting to become the be all and end all of modest style, or are they? 

Last Thursday, I went shopping specifically on the hunt for bottoms, mostly maxi skirts. I was shocked to be unable to find anything that I didn't already have. It was then, when I realized I was way too dependent on the 'two maxis', and so are most women, to be honest.
I started to think it was imperative and necessary to start exploring other options and diversify my wardrobe. I decided to narrow it down to 4 essential and pretty practical options to replace and refresh the ´maxi look´. Here they are I hope they are useful and lovable to you!

1. Probably one of the best options if not THE best option or replacement for maxi skirts are 'Palazzo' trousers, they are modest, comfortable and incredibly chic. They look good on every sort of body, whether you are slim or curvy, it really doesn't matter. Explore with stand-out colors, mix patterns textures and shapes. Try a peplum top with it and you'll love it!
2. The second option I considered, was one of the easiest: Wearing long, oversize sweaters for coverage. Taking advantage of the fact that is fall and that it is perfect sweater weather , why not give it a try and pair it with colorful pants and loose shirts? Perfect opportunity to stay warm and keep it covered.

3. The third option, and one that I think is quite fun, is one inspired by layering. Layering a miniskirt over pants is probably the most fun way to style an otherwise revealing look. On my recent shopping sprees I've come across a lot of mini skirts, and I must admit that was a little bit annoying, however, there is a way. Combining colors, color blocking and contrasting them for a fun look, is a way to wear two bottom pieces (minis and pants) as a smart alternative to the 'two maxis'.

4. Last but not least, an option that probably doesn't require extra shopping (because I'm sure we all own a good coat) is wearing coats as dresses! It's simple, elegant and extremely classic. Keep it interesting with patterns on the leggings or skinnies you wear underneath and you will see that dressing up has never been any easier.

That is all for this style blabber. I know I hadn't done one in a while, but hey, better late than never! If you wish to have more information or personalized advice, please email ifo@stylemodesta.com.

xo and style your life modest!

Love,

Kiki G.

Style Blabber: Are mainstream fashion publications a modest woman's nightmare or her best friends?

Fashion Magazines and publications, should we run away from them or learn how to love them?

I don't know about you, but when I decided to adopt a modest lifestyle, I first thought: "Ok that is it, there won't be many things in mainstream fashion that will fit or talk to my modest style". Fashion publications fell into that category as well. I used to flip through the pages of magazines, with a reluctant attitude. I felt like I was looking at things that weren't aimed at me at all...Or so I thought.

Most people flip through fashion magazines looking at the model or the piece of clothing she is wearing, I sure did that before. The reality of things is that when done in that way, someone like the average modest woman wouldn't really relate to the spreads, editorials or articles in any of the magazines, simply because they feel foreign and orientated to a different target.

Back in the day, when I used to think that, I was in business school and my interest in fashion was too shallow for me to understand how things worked. I am glad to say I have, since then, come a long way. I started to study fashion and made it one of my life's priorities. Starting to understand how EVERYTHING worked behind the scenes of everything fashion related, helped me see the depth and bottom of what I normally saw, especially what I saw in mainstream fashion publications. I learnt that fashion publications actually aim to show and develop a concept rather than just photographing a model with clothes.

I realized that there actually was a better way to look at a fashion publication and be able to appreciate, like, understand and even wear what was shown in them. The key is to look at what the publication is trying to show us, not at what we are seeing at first.

It sounds complicated, so allow me to elaborate on this. For example, lets assume we open a Vogue magazine and see an editorial with a model in a red dress. When we look at it, we normally SEE a dress, maybe a very tight, short dress. Now, when we look deeper, we see that what we are actually BEING SHOWN is probably a trend, a look or an over all concept, which for the propose of the example let's say it was "Red the color of the season". When we look at that (the concept not the dress) it becomes easier to relate to the editorial, because we can now take that into our wardrobe by looking for pieces with that trend or concept that are modest and appealing to us.

I took it upon myself to go through a couple of issues of the fashion publications I normally read, and see how relatable they were for everyone with a love for modesty. I will also share with you how I "look" at these publications and what I take from them:

One of the ways to look through these publications, is "scouting" modesty in them. It's about finding those pieces of clothing or those looks that are incredibly appropriate and that you love and would eventually wear.

Finding what I would wear and taking mental notes!

Another way is by spotting elements we like, or are interested in and trying to see if they can eventually be worn in a modest way and making mental notes of possible alternatives, this one seems to be the most versatile way to relate to these publications, there is always things we like but sometimes we say "Ugh, not modest enough". Well it is a matter of figuring out how to turn regular things into modest things.

Spot for accessories and beauty reports, they are aimed at EVERYONE, it is a good way to feel like these publications relate to you!

And there is yet another way, and for this I took a look at a Vogue summer issue (because we know summer fashion is not exactly modesty friendly) to illustrate how there is a way for this issues to be modesty friendly. Take the concept or idea and instead of thinking of pieces like shorts and swimsuits, think of dresses or maxis, and be inspired by it and then translate it into something you would actually wear. Even in cases where one would normally just flip the page (because it's an article about something like bathing suits) there is something to pay attention too and there is a way to do it. 

Translaitng concepts and making it work!

I love the idea of taking mainstream fashion and making it fit into my modest style, it is probably the best way not to feel dated and/or boring when it comes to what we wear and how we look. With the appropriated perspective, mainstream publications can be relatable and fun to look at for the average modes lady. 

Hope you enjoyed this post!

xo and style your life modest!

Love, 

Kiki G.

Ps: Yes the hand writing is mine and not a 4 year old's! x

Style Blabber: Who said you couldn't feel pretty while being modest?

I find it amazing that there tends to be a misconception about modesty and the need to feel good about ourselves. Being modest doesn't necessarily mean our personal appearance should be neglected.

While modesty is all about not attracting the opposite sex in the wrong way, it doesn't mean we, as modest women, are not entitled to make ourselves feel pretty. It can be possible that we get lost in a sea of ugly fabric, frumpy clothes, no make up and instantly start to forget that looking in the mirror should be about feeling good and loving what we see.

Modesty is liberating and it is also an excellent way to raise our self esteem, but only in one way that is possible: If we remember that we are ultimately dressing for ourselves and making ourselves happy and not others.

Don't forget you are a girl, A Girl, and that you are completely entitled to love everything any other girl loves. Love yourself, love your life, love your style. Be happy, feel pretty and feel good, here is how:

Dress nicely: It doesn't matter how many people agree or disagree with how you look, what matters is that you never stop making an effort in your appearance, especially in what you wear. Keeping it covered doesn't mean keeping it boring. Go shopping for nice clothes, buy what you like. Make sure that every piece of clothing you wear makes you feel comfortable, if it doesn't or it doesn't generate any type of security in you, DON'T WEAR IT! 

• Take care of your health: Sometimes, without even realizing, we start thinking that because as modest women who don't show skin, we have an excuse to gain an unhealthy amount of weight and be unhealthy, like if the only excuse to be healthy, is to be able to show our bodies. Well, let me tell you that it totally isn't the case. There shouldn't be any type of excuse when it comes to staying healthy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a big girl, however, there is everything wrong with being unhealthy. Go out for a walk, don't eat in excess (this one goes for me as well) and make sure that whatever weight you are on, you keep yourself healthy. 

• Nurture your skin and don't be scared of simple make up: You really don't need to look like you just woke up just because you try to look modest. Put on your concealer and foundation (if you need it), add a hint of mascara and off you go! Who noticed you had make up on? Probably no one, but who will feel good by wearing a tad of it? You surely will! Take care of your skin, be a girl, get facials, enjoy taking care of how your face looks. Don't worry, you are still keeping it simple without having to feel insecure about our beautiful imperfections.

• Wear colors: This one is a personal favorite of mine, it often get underestimated how important  and good wearing bright colors makes you feel. Wearing black and gray all the time can become depressing. Whenever we see a rainbow we smile, so why not add some of the rainbow joy to our lives by incorporating a bit of the color into our outfits and wardrobes? It sound really basic, but the difference that it makes in our mood whenever we look at ourselves in a mirror, is unbelievable! 

These are simple things we tend to forget in the sake of modesty, but today I'll tell you that your modesty won't get compromised for making yourself feel good about yourself. Don't be scared of feeling good, remember that modesty is about making you feel beautiful and comfortable.

xo and style your life modest! 

Love, 

Kiki G.

Style Blabber: Curvy figures and modest clothing, is it possible?

Curvy women are who I like to call: The victims of a ridiculously idealized idea of beauty. When clothes are though for a very plain, lean and slim figure it is automatically harder to be able to find things that fit properly, especially something that fits and that is modest.

The average curvy body has a very interesting and fun way of distributing measurements. Normally  sizes variate, and fluctuate and you happen to be one size on tops and another in bottoms. All of the sudden you fin women, curvy women, having a hard time trying to find something that won't make us look frumpy or that may not be too revealing. It seems like it is either one thing or the other, it has to be modesty over frumpyness.

About two years ago I used to think it was impossible to look good in modest clothing and how wrong was I, there are ways and it is just a matter of thinking things through and knowing some key basics of what Your body needs in terms of clothing, here Style Modesta has put together some basic tips for dressing a curvy body:

Hello lycra! 

Yes one of the best ways to deal with fit issues is to find clothes made in fabric that is naturally made to fit the body, and lycra is probably the best way. One thing to bear in mind is the fact that lycra won't look modest or flattering if it is too figure hugging. Try to find dresses and loose tops in this material, you'd be amazing how they can really be a curvy modest woman's best friend!

Two pieces are better than one:

Because curvy bodies are rarely the same size all over (as in top to bottom) the best way to go about dressing your curvy body is by buying separates. A full dress can be a difficult thing to fit, even long tops might be trick, they might be just ok to fit your hips but too big to fit your torso or vice-versa. Buying separates (as in a top an a max skirt, perhaps) ensures that you will look for the right size on top and the right size on the bottom, the only thing to be aware of in this case is that sometimes tight tops are annoying, so look for shirts to get a loose effect on top. 

Belts as the best way to fight frumpiness:

You may not thing much of it but belts are magical when it comes to making clothes that are too big, look like they fit your body. If you found a dress that fits your chest area but it makes you look really big bellow the waist line, use a belt to solve the problem. Check the pictures bellow I have taken with the same dress, the one on the left makes the dress looks frumpy on me, because my chest area is large (like that of every other curvy girl) anything that fits it and falls from it is immediately going to make me look bigger and even pregnant, so by using a belt it does look like it fits me more appropriately, it doesn't add weight to mi figure but it still keeps everything loose and modest.  Buy belts depending on the dress, it doesn't have to be a thick belt, sometimes a thin one will do, however be careful withe where you place the belt on your body, since too high or too low could create a different optical effect on your figure making you look shorter or bigger; exactly around the waist line should be fine.

Dealing with volume:

Having curves means you already have volume in the places you need, managing volume and choosing pieces of clothing with or without volume really comes down to the type of curvy body you have.

• For an hour glass figure: You want to avoid any volume of any sort, you have volume on top and on the bottom part of your life and your waste is an asset, adding volume to either top of bottom would only make it a lot more prominent and there is nothing modest about that, keep it simple, simple cuts, simple fabrics, little texture and you should be fine.

• For pear shaped figure: Having a pear shape figure means the top part of your body is smaller than the bottom part of your body, that means you need to take away attention from the fuller part by wearing pieces with volume on top. Shoulder parts are a good way to add volume in a discrete, elegant way and evening out proportions. Also, wearing a lot of texture like faux-fur, faux-feathers and even leather or thick wool will give you that desired volume.

• For wedge shaped figure: I your body is shaped like a triangle it means you are fuller oon top than at the bottom, for this like the pear shaped figure you are going to want to add volume from waist to bottom with flowy skirts, and wide-legged pants. 

Source: randomhijabi.polyvore.com  

While curvy girls may need more time to think and scout exactly what fit us, there are ways and every way is just as chic and modest as the next, don't get discouraged and learn to love your curvy body!

xo and style your life modest!

Kiki G

Style Blabber: Dressing age appropriate, the Do's and the Don'ts!

Happy me hitting the candy store at F.A.O Schwarz after
shopping.
(Very age appropriate lol)

About a week ago I was discussing with a sister the issue of "How to turn your wardrobe into a modest wardrobe". She was telling me about how she, being just a little over 18 years old, was struggling to make herself look youthful without having to compromise her modesty.

I remember a while ago when I was in the same situation. I decided to dress modestly and wear the hijab (or better said the scarf) but the problem was I started to buy clothes that ended up making me look like if I was 60!

You'd be surprised at how difficult it is for many girls bellow the age of 28 to look age appropriate in modest clothes. To be honest I think that is one of the biggest and most annoying pains hijabis (and modest girls in general) go through! Looking at pictures of myself from two years ago is borderline terrifying! I can't help but think: WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING? 

When did looking like a 60 years old milk lady became cool? Let me tell you when: NEVER. (and it never will) I struggled at first finding the way to look my age but I think I figured out some basic things to do and not to do when it comes to fixing this, and came up with a simple list of Do's and Don'ts and here it is:

DON'Ts

• Not every sister at the mosque needs to be your style icon: I don't mean it in a rude way, though. While an elder sister may be an incredible spiritual role model, you need to bear in mind that they are also older and lead a different life to yours. Lifestyles are different and so is the way they dress and you dress. Look up to their actions but not necessarily to what they are wearing, if you end up imitating it, you'll end up looking 20 years older and no one wants that.

• If your mom would wear it, then forget about ever buying it: Although the mom rule doesn't necessarily apply to everyone, most people wouldn't want to be caught dead in their mothers clothing. When you are about to wear something just ask yourself whether your mother would wear that or not; if the answer happens to be yes, then PLEASE don't buy that piece!!! 

• Stay away from cheap clothes being sold at flea markets: While I have bought many different things at flea markets in the past, if you know me and have noticed, I only buy accessories and decoration items, but clothes is a big no no. Normally, the clothes being sold here are way too dated, they are old and not the vintage kind of old but the "it's from 2006" kind of old. Buying these clothes will only make you look dated and about 10 years older. STAY AWAY FROM IT! 

DO's

• Shop where you would normally would go to with your friends: Surprisingly, the biggest stores that we all know and love like Zara, H&M and Forever21 (and the like) all have items that we can perfectly wear. Anything like maxi-skirts, maxi-dresses, jumpsuits, wide pants, coats and the likes  are available for us nowadays.

Buy the clothe that looks good on
you, not on others! 

• If you like it but it: Sometimes, we all really like a piece of clothing so much but we try it on and it happens to be too tight; don't be discouraged from buying it, there is always a way. the perfect alternative and solution to this issue is simple: BUY IT IN A LARGER SIZE! The amount of clothes I have that is in a different size to mine is ridiculous, sometimes I even buy it two sizes larger just so it is nice and baggy (just how I like it), and it works perfectly for me.

• Take a friend of your age shopping with you: An honest opinion from someone who cares about you and is your same age is the best thing to have when shopping. Your friend will be uncomfortable seeing you in something her mother or your mother would wear, so she will most likely tell you what you look good in and what you don't. 

• Look like your own self: If you have a defined personal style and had it even before you decided to turn your wardrobe into a modest wardrobe, then don't forget about that and stick to it! If for example you are the typical biker-girl, don't ditch the leather, just change the jeans for a maxi skirt, keep the boots and leather jacket, throw on a scarf and off you go!

These are the basic Do's and Don'ts I consider will be helpful to make sure you dress age appropriated. Life is long and living each stage of life is beautiful. Last thing you need is to have your best years stolen by a bad look and the pressure to look a certain way. 

xo and remember to style your modest life!